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Extra-large, Please

nothanks(ciel)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Extra-large, Please


Someone gave me a gift – a little clipping torn off from the rim of a Tim Hortons coffee cup – and I was told that I could get a free coffee. Value does not matter: to get something for free always makes me happy.

I have never won anything in my life and never believed in lottery. I don’t understand why so many people religiously buy lottery week after week, month after month, year after year, for something that is almost certain never comes true. When someone waves a newspaper clipping to show me someone has just won $20 millions, I laugh it off by saying that there are millions of people have just watched their money going down the drain. In order to prove me wrong, someone gave me this clipping of Tim Hortons coffee cup to show there are people winning something on a daily basis.

A gift is something different. Something free. Something I definitely enjoy.

It was a Sunday morning, I set off to a Tim Hortons with this torn-off clipping to claim someone else’s win.

Inside the Tim Hortons, there was already a line before the counter. I noticed that no one was buying an extra-large coffee. Except for long-distance truck drivers, it would sound ridiculous to buy an “extra-large double double” and that was exactly what I would do.

When it was my turn to order, I proudly and ceremoniously put my Tim Hortons clipping on the counter and in my best voice, ordered an ex-large double double. It would be a dumb thing not to go for the largest size when it was free. But coming here only for the free coffee would also make me appear silly. So I expertly chose a donut to go with the coffee. I could almost feel the envious stares from the line behind me. Yeah, free coffee, extra-large, on Sunday morning.

The server came back shortly with my order and said coldly “one extra-large double bouble, one donut, $2.35”. That must be a mistake. A donut only cost 50 cents something. So I emphatically pointed at the Tim Hortons clipping which was still on the counter, and said, “no, no, no, the extra-large double double should be free, not donut. Of course I will use this free coupon on coffee, otherwise, I wouldn’t have ordered an extra-large coffee, would I?” The server smiled, picked up the Tim Hortons clipping, held it using her two fingers several inches in front of my nose and said, “Sir, this coupon wins a free donut, not coffee. Donut is free.” Then I realized I did not read small words on the torn-off clipping. That was truly awkward. Normally, I had several solutions to deal with this kind of situation: one, pretend I did not understand English very well. But that option was gone because I used flawless English made the order; two, apologize to the server that I had some roll-up clippings from Tim Hortons and picked wrong one in a rush and would like to return this stupid, over-sized coffee. But, I never heard anyone have returned a cup of coffee.
It must be a full minute while I was debating mentally what to do with this extra-large coffee. The line behind me got longer and impatient shuffling and breathing grew louder. Very reluctantly, I paid for the coffee.

To salvage the remnant of my dignity, I held my head high, scooped up the donut and the extra-large coffee – probably the only extra-large coffee they had sold on that day – marched out of the Tim Hortons. The moment I was outside of the Tim Hortons, there was a laughter bursting out behind me.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
(#7469596@0)
Last Updated: 2012-4-27
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 工作学习 / 外语学习 / Extra-large, Please -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-27 {3478} (#7469596@0)
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Extra-large, Please


    Someone gave me a gift – a little clipping torn off from the rim of a Tim Hortons coffee cup – and I was told that I could get a free coffee. Value does not matter: to get something for free always makes me happy.

    I have never won anything in my life and never believed in lottery. I don’t understand why so many people religiously buy lottery week after week, month after month, year after year, for something that is almost certain never comes true. When someone waves a newspaper clipping to show me someone has just won $20 millions, I laugh it off by saying that there are millions of people have just watched their money going down the drain. In order to prove me wrong, someone gave me this clipping of Tim Hortons coffee cup to show there are people winning something on a daily basis.

    A gift is something different. Something free. Something I definitely enjoy.

    It was a Sunday morning, I set off to a Tim Hortons with this torn-off clipping to claim someone else’s win.

    Inside the Tim Hortons, there was already a line before the counter. I noticed that no one was buying an extra-large coffee. Except for long-distance truck drivers, it would sound ridiculous to buy an “extra-large double double” and that was exactly what I would do.

    When it was my turn to order, I proudly and ceremoniously put my Tim Hortons clipping on the counter and in my best voice, ordered an ex-large double double. It would be a dumb thing not to go for the largest size when it was free. But coming here only for the free coffee would also make me appear silly. So I expertly chose a donut to go with the coffee. I could almost feel the envious stares from the line behind me. Yeah, free coffee, extra-large, on Sunday morning.

    The server came back shortly with my order and said coldly “one extra-large double bouble, one donut, $2.35”. That must be a mistake. A donut only cost 50 cents something. So I emphatically pointed at the Tim Hortons clipping which was still on the counter, and said, “no, no, no, the extra-large double double should be free, not donut. Of course I will use this free coupon on coffee, otherwise, I wouldn’t have ordered an extra-large coffee, would I?” The server smiled, picked up the Tim Hortons clipping, held it using her two fingers several inches in front of my nose and said, “Sir, this coupon wins a free donut, not coffee. Donut is free.” Then I realized I did not read small words on the torn-off clipping. That was truly awkward. Normally, I had several solutions to deal with this kind of situation: one, pretend I did not understand English very well. But that option was gone because I used flawless English made the order; two, apologize to the server that I had some roll-up clippings from Tim Hortons and picked wrong one in a rush and would like to return this stupid, over-sized coffee. But, I never heard anyone have returned a cup of coffee.
    It must be a full minute while I was debating mentally what to do with this extra-large coffee. The line behind me got longer and impatient shuffling and breathing grew louder. Very reluctantly, I paid for the coffee.

    To salvage the remnant of my dignity, I held my head high, scooped up the donut and the extra-large coffee – probably the only extra-large coffee they had sold on that day – marched out of the Tim Hortons. The moment I was outside of the Tim Hortons, there was a laughter bursting out behind me.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • ask your friend to reimburse you. -wincity(红卫兵); 2012-4-27 (#7469623@0)
      • I was thinking small claims court. -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-27 (#7472911@0)
    • "But that option was gone because I used flawless English made the order" 本身就是个病句。“flawless”可以免了。 -winterstorm(打酱油的); 2012-4-27 (#7470435@0)
      • Maybe "fluent" is better. -taoyuan(天涯); 2012-4-27 (#7470621@0)
        • Should be “to make the order”. Personally, I feel “fluent” is too common and uninteresting. Sometimes, extreme words are used to reach a comical effect. -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-27 (#7472887@0)
          • To make it even better you may consider changing small words to -thornthorn($oOHoly MolyOo$); 2012-4-27 {13} (#7472909@0)
            find print...
            • Excellent -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-27 (#7472918@0)
      • 不要吹毛求屁吗。 意思上有点而别扭是真的。 -thornthorn($oOHoly MolyOo$); 2012-4-27 (#7470726@0)
        • 既然自称“flawless”，就不要怪别人“吹毛求疵”了。 -winterstorm(打酱油的); 2012-4-27 (#7470769@0)
          • 酱油兄在外语坛有点过于严肃。 -wincity(红卫兵); 2012-4-27 (#7472268@0)
            • 如有冒犯，望见谅。在下从小就养成了看不惯病句的坏习惯。 -winterstorm(打酱油的); 2012-4-28 (#7473939@0)
              • 酱油同学这么谦虚谨慎 -oiseau(月舞飞天); 2012-4-28 {60} (#7473993@0)
                有点让人看着不习惯了哈，怎么不去歌坛听歌了，似是故人来，等等
                • 还是经常去的，只是很少发言。那两本小说读完了吗？ -winterstorm(打酱油的); 2012-4-28 (#7474037@0)
                  • Too close to home 和 -oiseau(月舞飞天); 2012-4-28 {183} (#7474083@0)
                    No time for goodbye ? 早读完了。后来又翻了翻他更早期的bad move,文笔稍稍涩一点，没有后来的流畅，就没读完了。后来为着笑一笑十年少起见，看了几本Sophie kinsela 的shopaholic 系列，偷懒了。
              • 冒犯倒不至于，就是人家兴致冲冲的，你给人家半瓢子冰水。纠错是好事，讽刺就不好。通篇文章就是调侃，flawless 这个词恰如其分。 -wincity(红卫兵); 2012-4-28 (#7474022@0)
        • not "有点而别扭", should be“有点儿别扭” -zbt(周伯通); 2012-4-30 (#7477314@0)
      • 楼上"fluent"的建议不错.酱油兄大度一点嘛,多看人家写得好的地方. -slowdownforrose(放慢脚步); 2012-4-27 (#7472559@0)
        • 那酱油哥是点铁成金还是点金成银啊? -thornthorn($oOHoly MolyOo$); 2012-4-27 (#7472567@0)
          • 酱油兄要真想帮人,当然是点铁成金.他帮人家解释stoke up a counter-heat in the bag就挺好. -slowdownforrose(放慢脚步); 2012-4-27 (#7472585@0)
            • 哪儿? 估计他没看见吧? -thornthorn($oOHoly MolyOo$); 2012-4-27 {16} (#7472588@0)
              对不起, 是我 :-)
        • 多谢你的建议。在下记住了。 -winterstorm(打酱油的); 2012-4-28 (#7473938@0)
    • :D -uptowngirl(若初 朝花夕拾); 2012-4-27 (#7470540@0)
      • I truly want more feedbacks from you. -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-27 {176} (#7472727@0)
        Normally, once I have an idea, I write it down. But the second time I read it, it is not interesting at all. I have sent some stories to the garbage bin. What is your pattern?
        • thanks i'm honestly flattered... -uptowngirl(若初 朝花夕拾); 2012-4-28 {314} (#7473835@0)
          about writing... lazy bone like me? oh i wish i had a pattern... well, i do think blogging or tweeting would help.

          a friend of mine, a Chinese lady who writes english poems (she published a couple of books actually), does write every day, even just one line of haiku. i admire her talent, but more, diligence...
          • You are no “lazy bones”. When you write, you leave a trail of footprints behind and that is how I know you. Lucky you, have a writer as a friend, but I count you as one. -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-29 (#7475897@0)
    • Thanks for sharing. Just curious -thornthorn($oOHoly MolyOo$); 2012-4-27 {190} (#7470633@0)
      when Tim Hortons increased price for an extra-large to $2.35 and reduced price for a donut to $0.50. I was there this morning it’s still an extra-larges for $1.90 for and a donut for $.90.
      • they didn't have extra larget before. It's a new addition and they just name the rest one size down. But the price remained the same. -coolmao(Work-caste Anla-Shok); 2012-4-27 (#7470649@0)
      • This is a test. I made up this story last night and sent it here for testing. If people find it interesting, I will verify all the numbers later and use it for small talks. -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-27 (#7472754@0)
        • It is interesting although a bit long. -thornthorn($oOHoly MolyOo$); 2012-4-27 (#7472763@0)
          • quite a bit long :) also why make up a story for small talk? let alone a slightly unflattering story. -wincity(红卫兵); 2012-4-27 (#7472805@0)
            • When you try to tell it to a friend, it is not long at all. I don’t know about you, I probably would forget 60% of details. -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-27 (#7472902@0)
              • i doubt people would have the patience to listen to an elaborate story :) also you wrote it like a literary piece, not a conversational piece. -wincity(红卫兵); 2012-4-27 (#7472912@0)
                • You are right, spoken English is different. But without a written form, each time you tell the story, it is different. -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-27 (#7472947@0)
              • just curious, how long does it take you to finish? -wincity(红卫兵); 2012-4-28 (#7473619@0)
    • 帐好像还是不对啊。Ex的Double Double好像是两块钱一个啊，他怎么收你两块三毛五呢？ -tomba(脾气不太好); 2012-4-28 (#7473609@0)
      • Ha,ha…when you tell the story, get the numbers straight. -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-29 (#7475747@0)
    • The story is cute. I cracked a smile. I envy that you can make a mountain out of a molehill (in a positive way). -woodypeony(skipper); 2012-4-28 (#7473921@0)
      • I believe there are a lot of interesting stories in your life, maybe you are too busy to write them down and share with us. Write something here and I will be your cheerleader the very moment I see it. -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-29 (#7475756@0)
    • Definitely -oiseau(月舞飞天); 2012-4-28 {756} (#7474107@0)
      something to enjoy reading for a weekend,especially when I suddenly realize something I should've noticed long time ago, too dumb of me,I think I know who you are, Ah ha haha... I like First,6th and last paragraph more than the others,they kind of contains more of comical factors to me.

      For 3rd paragraph, "some thing free that I would definitely enjoy" would be my two cents, for "something that is almost certain never come true ", I would go for "something that'd almost never come true".

      Please come by and drop some lines here when ever you got a second, see,without your lines, what else could stir such a passion here for us to wear our thick glasses to pick up as much as possible so called errors in a english writing piece？^_^
      • Right on ! -nothanks(ciel); 2012-4-29 {500} (#7475822@0)
        He he…I am afraid you are getting bored without me. Here you go, give you something to think about: doctors need patients to hone their skills. I appreciate it for giving me your perspectives on my writing. From time to time, I do want to see how people react to it.

        I am drowned in French words. Frequent consulting with a French dictionary makes me very frustrated. I can’t believe I am doing it all over again. Anyhow, that is why people say “what didn’t kill me, makes me stronger.”
    • Very interesting. Thanks for sharing. I couldn't help :D)))) -good_job(good_job); 2012-5-8 (#7498234@0)
    • An interesting story that made my day, thank you for sharing with us. -topspin(topspin); 2012-5-9 (#7503514@0)

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