本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛写下题目发现是刚恢复高考那年77年的高考做文题。据说当时的考生都写成了批评稿,因为不会写别的。对于我家的小女孩来说,过去的一年在daycare里还真是经历了几场战斗。她去的是home daycare,一个老师,4到5个不同年龄的小朋友。
去年2月,她开始陆续抱怨:"mom,jerry(假名)踢我啦。",过几天,"mom,jerry push me a lot!" Jerry 比她小10个月,当时刚2岁,金发碧眼,有着天使般的容颜。 他父亲是我同事。他还在妈妈肚子里时,我们给他们夫妇baby shower,jerry11个月送到这个daycare,白白胖胖的,标准洋娃娃。然后我眼看着他越来越active,几乎一夜之间就变成个小淘气包。
3月,女儿回来说:"jerry 踢我的腿!我就yelling to him,but it doesn't work。next time,我就去找艾娃(老师),让艾娃把他timeout!"。过了几天:"jerry 被timeout,因为他hit John。"
"那他哭了吗?","没有,他一直在笑。timeout 以后,他还是hit John。"
4月,每天听女儿唠叨,"jerry kick Alice.""jerry hit John,"... 我问:"你还想和他玩吗?",回答:"想!他很喜欢和我玩。
"那你应该教他别打人,你比他大那么多,你应该象老师那样提醒他。"
5月,女儿胳膊上被咬了一大口,皮破了。回家抱怨:"我不要他做我的best friend了。他老打人,he is a bad boy!"。我哑然失笑:"你现在下这个结论太早了点。他才刚2岁,且变呢。我相信他很快就会变好的。"
6月, 女儿被timeout。因为她抓住jerry的胖脸蛋,狠狠咬了一口。我去接的时候看到jerry的脸上整整齐齐一个圈。据老师说,我女儿给娃娃盖毯子,刚盖上就被jerry掀走拖着跑,反复2次,女儿突然发难,抓住他咬了一口。回家后,气忽忽的说:"他不听我的,我就mad了。he has to know who is the BOSS!"。 我瞪着眼睛:"你就这么当boss呀?我也有老板。反正我知道,我就是干的再差,再不听话,他也不会跑过来咬我一口。想让别人听你的,不能用咬,打入,这些都不行。要动脑子,比如他把你玩具抢走了,你塞给他另外一个,把那个换回来呀,什么的。想办法,让他心甘情愿听你的。"
她低下头:"我没办法。他太naughty了。I was yelling to him, but it doesn't work. I told 艾娃 and he got timeout so many times,but doesn't work. ""那你就忍着吧。能够忍受'吃亏' 也是一种本事呢。你要是有办法保护好自己,又不伤着他,就去试,你要是没有就忍着,不把他打你当回事。就这2条路,别抱怨。"
"抱怨是什么?","就是你刚才的样子,你刚刚说的话就是抱怨。没用的话少说。"她想了想:"要不,你去和jerry的妈妈说,jerry打人。"
"哈哈。这个光荣的任务就交给你啦. 让我去告状还不如你自己去。是你和他有冲突,不是我。"
8月一天。"妈咪,今天ellen 来pickup jerry, I told her that jerry hit me again.""是吗!那后来呢?" "ellen 指着jerry说,'remember last time you got time out at basement...', but jerry rushed into kitchen, found the chocolate bars and painted his 2 hands with all chocolate, then he came back , wiped his hands with his mommy's new dress!"
她一边描述当时的场景,一边举起一只手比划着,她模仿jerry把手掌大大的张开,忽然象发现了新大陆似的:"hey mommy,"她吃惊的说:"看我的手,我的手指都能分开!"
"是!分不开的那是鸭子!",
"Oh. "她把手放下。接着说:"ellen's new dress got so many handprints, she was so mad and she put jerry into planpen to timeout. but jerry 长高了,he tried to 爬出来,他爬爬爬and he did! 他就想跑掉, ellen 发现了他,就try to catch him, but jerry was so fast and she couldn't catch him. jerry was laughing and laughing becasue ellen was so mad. Ellen 脸都红了,with her dirty dress. 她真的是好狼狈呀!"
10月。 "mommy, Jerry pushed me and kicked my legs, and I kicked him back. I should do that, right?"我犹豫着该怎么回答她。"humm,最好还是别这么做。"她抬起两边胳膊,用力摆了个健美姿势:"I have enough muscles. "。"muscles 叫肌肉。我知道你有肌肉,但肌肉现在说不上话。还是用语言来解决问题吧。你的目的是让他学会怎么和别人相处,不是简单的让他服从你。你想让他知道肌肉不能让别人屈服,可你刚好用肌肉让他屈服于你。并且,他根本没有把力量对比和打人联系起来。你看你们所有人都被他打过,你们都比他大,john都8岁了还被他打,这就说明他打入是不看对象的,他着急了就上手,他不会去思考,这人我打的过吗?你上回咬了他一口,不才管了半个月,很快他就忘了疼。所以我们还是要想办法,不靠吓唬,不靠威胁,不靠肌肉,靠给他讲道理,慢慢他会变化的。"
"I did! I told him so many times but it doesn't work at all! 讲道理 is too slow. I am not patient.". "耐心等吧。他有一天会突然醒悟的,会发现听了上百遍的道理是保护他自己的。。现在时候不到呢。"
今年一月。我忽然意识到,女儿好久没再提起打斗的事情了。问她,回答:"我喜欢和jerry 在一起玩。他 concentrate on every word I told him。"。
"是嘛! 他不再打你啦?"
"No. 他真的变了。现在,when he is trying to hit me or kick me, I will knock the wall, that's a sign to remind him no hitting. "
"啊? 这是什么方法呀。不懂。"
"他懂。that's between him and me. See? Finally I know how to stop him. I can do everything I want!"
"嘿嘿。你还挺自豪的。"
"你不自豪吗?"
"我当然为你自豪。你能自己解决问题。这样的经历多了你会越来越自信。"
"妈妈,let me tell you something. I think, you are the best mom in the whole wide world."
"你又没拿我和别的妈妈相比较,你怎么知道呢?"
"Why should i compare you to somebody else's mommy? You are my mommy not somebody else's."
据老师说jerry的确不再打人了。他快过3岁生日了。我女儿这两天正在给他画生日卡。更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
去年2月,她开始陆续抱怨:"mom,jerry(假名)踢我啦。",过几天,"mom,jerry push me a lot!" Jerry 比她小10个月,当时刚2岁,金发碧眼,有着天使般的容颜。 他父亲是我同事。他还在妈妈肚子里时,我们给他们夫妇baby shower,jerry11个月送到这个daycare,白白胖胖的,标准洋娃娃。然后我眼看着他越来越active,几乎一夜之间就变成个小淘气包。
3月,女儿回来说:"jerry 踢我的腿!我就yelling to him,but it doesn't work。next time,我就去找艾娃(老师),让艾娃把他timeout!"。过了几天:"jerry 被timeout,因为他hit John。"
"那他哭了吗?","没有,他一直在笑。timeout 以后,他还是hit John。"
4月,每天听女儿唠叨,"jerry kick Alice.""jerry hit John,"... 我问:"你还想和他玩吗?",回答:"想!他很喜欢和我玩。
"那你应该教他别打人,你比他大那么多,你应该象老师那样提醒他。"
5月,女儿胳膊上被咬了一大口,皮破了。回家抱怨:"我不要他做我的best friend了。他老打人,he is a bad boy!"。我哑然失笑:"你现在下这个结论太早了点。他才刚2岁,且变呢。我相信他很快就会变好的。"
6月, 女儿被timeout。因为她抓住jerry的胖脸蛋,狠狠咬了一口。我去接的时候看到jerry的脸上整整齐齐一个圈。据老师说,我女儿给娃娃盖毯子,刚盖上就被jerry掀走拖着跑,反复2次,女儿突然发难,抓住他咬了一口。回家后,气忽忽的说:"他不听我的,我就mad了。he has to know who is the BOSS!"。 我瞪着眼睛:"你就这么当boss呀?我也有老板。反正我知道,我就是干的再差,再不听话,他也不会跑过来咬我一口。想让别人听你的,不能用咬,打入,这些都不行。要动脑子,比如他把你玩具抢走了,你塞给他另外一个,把那个换回来呀,什么的。想办法,让他心甘情愿听你的。"
她低下头:"我没办法。他太naughty了。I was yelling to him, but it doesn't work. I told 艾娃 and he got timeout so many times,but doesn't work. ""那你就忍着吧。能够忍受'吃亏' 也是一种本事呢。你要是有办法保护好自己,又不伤着他,就去试,你要是没有就忍着,不把他打你当回事。就这2条路,别抱怨。"
"抱怨是什么?","就是你刚才的样子,你刚刚说的话就是抱怨。没用的话少说。"她想了想:"要不,你去和jerry的妈妈说,jerry打人。"
"哈哈。这个光荣的任务就交给你啦. 让我去告状还不如你自己去。是你和他有冲突,不是我。"
8月一天。"妈咪,今天ellen 来pickup jerry, I told her that jerry hit me again.""是吗!那后来呢?" "ellen 指着jerry说,'remember last time you got time out at basement...', but jerry rushed into kitchen, found the chocolate bars and painted his 2 hands with all chocolate, then he came back , wiped his hands with his mommy's new dress!"
她一边描述当时的场景,一边举起一只手比划着,她模仿jerry把手掌大大的张开,忽然象发现了新大陆似的:"hey mommy,"她吃惊的说:"看我的手,我的手指都能分开!"
"是!分不开的那是鸭子!",
"Oh. "她把手放下。接着说:"ellen's new dress got so many handprints, she was so mad and she put jerry into planpen to timeout. but jerry 长高了,he tried to 爬出来,他爬爬爬and he did! 他就想跑掉, ellen 发现了他,就try to catch him, but jerry was so fast and she couldn't catch him. jerry was laughing and laughing becasue ellen was so mad. Ellen 脸都红了,with her dirty dress. 她真的是好狼狈呀!"
10月。 "mommy, Jerry pushed me and kicked my legs, and I kicked him back. I should do that, right?"我犹豫着该怎么回答她。"humm,最好还是别这么做。"她抬起两边胳膊,用力摆了个健美姿势:"I have enough muscles. "。"muscles 叫肌肉。我知道你有肌肉,但肌肉现在说不上话。还是用语言来解决问题吧。你的目的是让他学会怎么和别人相处,不是简单的让他服从你。你想让他知道肌肉不能让别人屈服,可你刚好用肌肉让他屈服于你。并且,他根本没有把力量对比和打人联系起来。你看你们所有人都被他打过,你们都比他大,john都8岁了还被他打,这就说明他打入是不看对象的,他着急了就上手,他不会去思考,这人我打的过吗?你上回咬了他一口,不才管了半个月,很快他就忘了疼。所以我们还是要想办法,不靠吓唬,不靠威胁,不靠肌肉,靠给他讲道理,慢慢他会变化的。"
"I did! I told him so many times but it doesn't work at all! 讲道理 is too slow. I am not patient.". "耐心等吧。他有一天会突然醒悟的,会发现听了上百遍的道理是保护他自己的。。现在时候不到呢。"
今年一月。我忽然意识到,女儿好久没再提起打斗的事情了。问她,回答:"我喜欢和jerry 在一起玩。他 concentrate on every word I told him。"。
"是嘛! 他不再打你啦?"
"No. 他真的变了。现在,when he is trying to hit me or kick me, I will knock the wall, that's a sign to remind him no hitting. "
"啊? 这是什么方法呀。不懂。"
"他懂。that's between him and me. See? Finally I know how to stop him. I can do everything I want!"
"嘿嘿。你还挺自豪的。"
"你不自豪吗?"
"我当然为你自豪。你能自己解决问题。这样的经历多了你会越来越自信。"
"妈妈,let me tell you something. I think, you are the best mom in the whole wide world."
"你又没拿我和别的妈妈相比较,你怎么知道呢?"
"Why should i compare you to somebody else's mommy? You are my mommy not somebody else's."
据老师说jerry的确不再打人了。他快过3岁生日了。我女儿这两天正在给他画生日卡。更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net